Newsletter 9/25/06

"If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers." ~Edgar W. Howe

"Annual Back-to-School Special Edition"
Dear Friends,

Whenever September rolls around I always get nostalgic about "back to school" - maybe it's the idea of missing out on the 137 days of vacation, or maybe it's just jealousy about not being able to go back-to-school shopping every fall, or maybe I just miss sitting in class all day - whatever the reason I always like to have some fun with education in the September newsletter.

Of course not all memories of school are pleasant. . .how many of you actually enjoyed sitting through high school English classes? Sometimes we forget how tough it can be. . . So here's a fun little reminder from English teacher Richard Lederer!

Back To School - 2

"The Trouble with English" "English is the most widely used language in the history of our planet. One in every 7 humans can speak it. More than half of the world's books and three quarters of international mail are in English. Of all the languages, it has the largest vocabulary - perhaps as many as 2 MILLION words. Nonetheless, let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writer's write but fingers don't fing, and grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two gee se. So one moose, two meese? One index, two indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you can comb through annals of history but not a single annal?

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If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If vegetarians eat vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can slim chance and fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as heck one day and cold as heck another?

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experience requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly, or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

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have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which of course isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it but when I wind up this essay, I end it."

Remember the Science Fair?

A junior high school student in Idaho recently won his city's science fair. He was attempting to show that people have become conditioned to react to environmental alarmists who practice junk science. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide". He had plenty of good reasons for it:

1. 1. It can cause excessive sweating and vo miting.
2. 2. It is a major component of acid rain.
3. 3. It can cause severe burns in its gaseous state.
4. 4. Accidental inhalation can kill you.
5. 5. It contributes to erosion.
6. 6. It decreases the effectiveness of automobile brakes.
7. 7. It has been found in tumors of cancer patients.

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He asked 50 people if they supported the banning of the chemical.

Forty-three said yes, six said there were undecided and one actually knew what "dihydrogen monoxide is so she was totally against the ban. "Dihydrogen monoxide is two hydrogen molecules and one oxygen molecule. . .H2O. . .WATER!

The title of his prize winning project was "How Gullible Are We?" He felt that the conclusion was obvious!

That's all for this month, I hope I brought back some fond memories!

See you in 30 days!

Bad Breath, Begone!

Bad Breath, Begone!Do you use more mouthwash than you'd like? Are your pockets always rattling with boxes of breath mints? Instead of continuously trying to cover up bad breath, learn what causes it and how to avoid it.

Get the inside scoop >

I'm sure you've seen the amazing results of a complete smile makeover - a fabulous smile that's perfectly straight even and white! But you may be curious about what it takes to get there or if it's even something that can be done on your smile.

Rest assured that we can fix virtually anything that's a problem with your smile and we can make it absolutely stunning.

We can straighten crooked, overlapped teeth. We can fix chipped, broken and worn teeth. We can replace unattractive metal fillings with natural looking restorations. We can replace any missing teeth. We can close gaps between teeth. We can re-contour a gummy smile. We can whiten any stained or discolored teeth. We can do just about anything you will need!

Of course the first stop to that Hollywood smile is a healthy mouth so you will want to come in for a complete and thorough check-up. Having a healthy mouth is the foundation for having a beautiful smile!

Once we have your foundation ready we can move on to styling your new smile. We'll find out just how you'd like your smile to look, what it is that you want to change about your current smile, and we can even give you a preview of your stylish new look.

What Have We Done For You Lately - 2

How much care you need to achieve your goal will depend on how you'd like your smile to appear. You may just need something as simple as a one-hour laser whitening session to achieve your goals, you may want Da Vinci porcelain veneers placed on your teeth, or you may want your gum line re-contoured. . .whatever it is you want you can bet that we can do it for you!

The end result will be not only a happier, healthier, more attractive smile but a happier, healthier, more attractive YOU!

Best of all, we can complete all but the most extreme procedures in just one or two trips to our office so you can be smiling beautifully in no time. Just give us a call and ask us what we can do for you!

Mom and Dad Can Have Perfect Teeth Too!

Mom and Dad Can Have Perfect Teeth Too!Thinking of straightening your teeth, Mom and Dad? So are your friends! One in every five people in orthodontic treatment is over eighteen. Why not join the trend? Learn more about your financial options for Invisalign, the invisible way to straighten teeth.

On your way to a perfect smile >

Back-To-School Promotion

Now's the Time to Save on an Ideal Smile!

To Celebrate America's birthday, we are offering you the opportunity to make yours an All American Smile. During September and October we will give you 20% off Laser whitening, a $200 credit towards new Invisalign treatment, and/or a 5 Star Exam that includes any necessary x-rays and a cleaning for $50 OFF the regular price!

Here's the catch: you must schedule the appointment by October 15th to receive all the savings.

Schedule today by calling Desiree at (214) 556-5251. Call now - this promotion is limited to only the first 17 patients to schedule.

Not Your Father's Root Canal

Not Your Father's Root CanalWith advances in dental technology, root canal treatment is no longer the arduous procedure the rumor mill would have you believe. In fact, those most likely to speak ill of the process are people who have never even experienced it firsthand! Find out what's actually involved and why nowadays, this process is akin to simply having a cavity filled.

Today's root canal >

Bits Of Wit And Wisdom

Bits Of Wit And Wisdom- It isn't the age, it's the mileage that counts.

• - Knowledge is awareness of the fact fire will burn. Wisdom is remembering the blister.
• - Middle age is when you don't care where you go just so you are home by 9 p.m.
• - Love is blind...marriage is the eye-opener.
• - If you want a place in the sun you must expect to get blistered occasionally.
• - Better to be a has been than a never was.
• - If you want to be heard - whisper.
• - Are you helping with the solution, or are you part of the problem?
• - Debate: it lures de fish....
• - Happiness is when you find your glasses soon enough that you still remember why you wanted them.
• - A word of advice - don't give it.
• - The average amount of sleep required by the average person is 5 minutes more....
• - Do it yourself. We want it loused up good.
• - If a man could understand women, he still wouldn't believe it.
• - A well adjusted person: one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous.
• - Boasting: the patter of little feats.
• - If you think it's hard to meet people, just pick up the wrong golf ball.
• - A man's body is extemely sensitive. Pat him on the back and his head swells.

Taking Care of Your Toothbrush

Taking Care of Your ToothbrushYour toothbrush didn't come with an instruction booklet. However, there are many particular things you can do to keep your toothbrush gerM-Three - which of course helps your teeth and mouth stay cleaner and healthier. We've got the missing instructions for you right here!

Get instructions >

Monthly Quiz

Last Month's Quiz Question:

Look carefully at these letters:

H, M, R, T, V, X

Which letter doesn't belong?

Answer: R, all the other letters are exact mirror images.

This Month's Quiz Question!

This object has keys but opens no locks, space but no room, and you can enter yet not go in.

What is it?

Tips for Identifying and Preventing TMD

Tips for Identifying and Preventing TMDTMD, or Temporomandibular Disorder, causes jaw problems for many people without them realizing it! Learn about the symptoms of this painful disorder, and gather tips on how to keep it from happening to you.

Keep your jaw happy and healthy >

Do You Suffer From Recurring Headaches?

There's now a great way to relieve headache pain from TMJ, tension and migraines!

Neurologists have found that migraine and tension headaches, as well as those from TMJ (which also causes you to grind your teeth), can be effectively treated with BOTOX® in 2 out of 3 cases! Now BOTOX® injections from Dr. Swift can be used therapeutically to relieve recurring headache pain!

In 2004 Dr. Swift underwent training in both the therapeutic and cosmetic use of BOTOX® with Dr. Andy Blumenfeld. Dr. Blumenfeld is an internationally recognized authority on the utilization of Botulinum Toxin Type A for the treatment of headache and has significant experience as a researcher, speaker and national injector trainer. He was Chief of Service for the Department of Neurology at Kaiser Permanente in San Diego, and is currently Director of The Headache Center of Southern California. Dr. Blumenfeld is board certified by the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology.

To learn if y ou're a candidate and get more information, please follow the link....
Click here to learn more! >

Oral Piercing: Is It Worth It?

Oral Piercing: Is It Worth It? Thinking of getting an oral piercing? Make sure you're aware of the risks associated with introducing jewelry into your mouth before you make your decision.

Get the facts >

With Heartfelt Thanks For your Referrals!

With Heartfelt Thanks For your Referrals!There's no question that I have the BEST patients on the entire planet!

My business is built on word of mouth advertising and I would like to thank all of you who were kind enough to recommend our services to your friends.

Thank you soooo much!

Dental X-rays Demystified

Dental X-rays DemystifiedGetting dental X-rays taken may not sound like your idea of a fun afternoon. However, the information your dentist gathers from your X-rays plays a vital role in helping you avoid future dental problems.

Learn how it works >

Do You Book Your Own Travel Online?

Do You Book Your Own Travel Online?Want To Save A Ton of Time Planning a Trip And Find The Lowest Price Available?

As a service to our many patients who travel and use the internet to research the best value and to book their business trips and vacations, we have added to our website technology that can save you time and money. Our website has "PowerSearchª", a proprietary comparative search engine. Simply enter your travel info once, hit search, and it hunts automatically on up to 200 travel related websites and brings back the results in order of price - plus shows you which site has the best deal. Then click on the deal you want and save money! If it's a travel, airline, hotel, cruise, or car rental site - you no longer have to go to each and enter your dates to search and compare - one click does it all!