Newsletter

Magical Smiles & Motivational Thoughts

A Free Monthly Newsletter For The Friends and Patients of Dallas Laser Dentistry

In This Issue

• Humor To Make You Smile!
• Humor To Make You Smile - 2
• Humor To Make You Smile - 3
• Humor To Make You Smile - 4
• Father's Day Promotion
• Success Story of the Month - Physician Heal Thyself
• Success Story of the Month - Physician Heal Thyself Pt 2
• With Heartfelt Thanks For your Referrals!
• Monthly Quiz
• Tips for Identifying and Preventing TMD
• Do You Suffer From Recurring Headaches?
• Bits Of Wit And Wisdom
• Make a Date with Your Dentist
• In The News
• Bad Breath, Begone!
• Dental X-rays Demystified
• Do You Book Your Own Travel Online?

Humor To Make You Smile!

We don't stop playing because we grow old -- we grow old because we stop playing! - George Bernard Shaw

Dear Friends,

Summer is almost upon us and for some reason summer always reminds me of fun -- so I wanted to have some fun with the newsletter this month! Once again I've scoured the internet to find some nice, family humor to share with y'all! So keep smiling!

BEST HEADLINES FROM 2005

"Something Went Wrong in JetCrash, Expert Says"

(Thank goodness there are experts)

"Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers"

(A fine example of the punishment not fitting the crime)

"Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant"

(Hmm. . . I'm sensing a theme here)

"War Dims Hope for Peace"

(Yes, I can see how that might happen)

"If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile"

(You have to love writers with a firm grasp of the obvious)

"Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures"

(Is there something else it should be linked with?)

"Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges"

(Red tape must be the only thing stronger than duct tape)

"Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge"

(Sounds more like he's a charged battery)

Humor To Make You Smile - 2

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft"

(There's a bean joke in there somewhere but I'll refrain)

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft"

(There's a bean joke in there somewhere but I'll refrain)

"Kids Make Nutritious Snacks"

(Now that's just not right)

"Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half "

(Again, the punishment is a tad too harsh)

"Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors"

(They probably make a great basketball team)

"Psychics Predict World Didn't End Yesterday"

(Psychics have great hindsight too)

TESTIMONY FROM COURTROOM RECORDS

Attorney: What is the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
Witness: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Attorney: And why did that upset you?
Witness: My name is Susan.

Attorney: "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

Attorney: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?" Witness: "Yes." Attorney: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

Humor To Make You Smile - 3

Attorney: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?" Witness: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."

Attorney: "When was the last time you saw the deceased?" Witness: "At his funeral" Attorney: "Did he make any comments to you at that time?"

Attorney: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture?" Witness: "That's me." Attorney: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"

Attorney: "How old is your son, the one living with you?" Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which." Attorney: "How long has he lived with you?" Witness: "Forty-five years."

LOST IN TRANSLATION

The following are examples of American advertisements that were translated into different languages which changed their meaning entirely (and humorously!):

Parker Pen launched a ball-point pen in Mexico for which ads were supposed to have read "it won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you". The company's agency thought that the word "embarazar"

(to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant".

Humor To Make You Smile - 4

The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Ke-kou-ke-la", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent "ko-ou-ko-le", translating into "happiness in the mouth".

When American Airlines wanted to advertise its new leather first class seats in the Mexican market, it translated its "Fly In Leather" campaign literally, which meant "Fly Naked" (vuela en cuero) in Spanish.

Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick".

In Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' good" came out as "eat your fingers off".

In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the name into "Schweppes Toilet Water".

Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave" in Chinese.

An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa).

Father's Day Promotion

We believe Fathers deserve to be recognized on more than just one day a year. So, for the rest of June and all of July, we would like to invite fathers to come to our office for a FREE Smile Makeover Consultation to learn how to get a whiter, brighter smile.

As an additional bonus we'll take 25% off of our LaserSmile™ laser whitening treatment, or put $200 towards any smile makeover treatment! Call Merritt today at (214) 556-5251 to schedule your FREE consultation!

PS: Only 17 spots available. . . call today!

Success Story of the Month - Physician Heal Thyself

It's a funny fact in life that people will often give great advice to others but never follow that same advice themselves. Just such a thing happened recently when I received a note from a surgeon.

He told me that a while ago he had three problems he needed to deal with: the first was that he had decided to make a slight career change and devote his practice to cosmetic surgery; the second was that he had always been self conscious about the appearance of his smile; and the third was that he simply hated going to the dentist.

As his practice grew he became aware that it was somewhat hypocritical to recommend that people address the problems that had bothered them all their lives by choosing cosmetic surgery, while at the same time he was avoiding the main cosmetic concern of his own life. He told me that he knew from his research that people look at the mouth area more than any other when interacting socially, so finally he gathered the courage and made an appoint ment for a consultation.

Afterwards, his only complaint was that he hadn't come in sooner.

Success Story of the Month - Physician Heal Thyself Pt 2

He told me "I feel the confidence of my new smile returned to me every time I reassure a patient that I will take good care of their cosmetic needs. I feel now that I convey the feelings I have inside, to the person I am talking to, because I have a beautiful smile to communicate for me. It is truly hard to describe how much difference being able to show a confident, heartfelt smile has made to my work and my social life. I feel like the real me."

It's always a great feeling to be able to help someone gain confidence and feel more like their real selves! If I can help you in any way please let me know!

Mary Swift, D.D.S.

With Heartfelt Thanks For your Referrals!

There's no question that I have the BEST patients on the entire planet!

My business is built on word of mouth advertising and I would like to thank all of you who were kind enough to recommend our services to your friends.

Thank you soooo much!

Monthly Quiz

JULY QUIZ -- What phrase is represented by this picture?

LAST MONTH'S ANSWER

Here's the question and the answer to last month's quiz:

You must use a gold chain to pay a worker for seven days of service. The chain has seven links on it, and you agree on a price of one link per day. However, the worker will not work without getting the day's pay up front, and you do not wish to give him more than his due for the fear that he will take it and leave. Therefore, you realized that you must cut some of the links on the chain. What is the smallest number of links you will need to cut, so that you can make sure that the worker receives one link for every day that he works, but not more?

The answer to this problem is "one link". For details, email us and request the June Quiz answer!

Tips for Identifying and Preventing TMD

TMD, or Temporomandibular Disorder, causes jaw problems for many people without them realizing it! Learn about the symptoms of this painful disorder, and gather tips on how to keep it from happening to you.

Keep your jaw happy and healthy>

Do You Suffer From Recurring Headaches?

There's now a great way to relieve headache pain from TMJ, tension and migraines!

Neurologists have found that migraine and tension headaches, as well as those from TMJ (which also causes you to grind your teeth), can be effectively treated with BOTOX® in 2 out of 3 cases! Now BOTOX® injections from Dr. Swift can be used therapeutically to relieve recurring headache pain!

In 2004 Dr. Swift underwent training in both the therapeutic and cosmetic use of BOTOX® with Dr. Andy Blumenfeld. Dr. Blumenfeld is an internationally recognized authority on the utilization of Botulinum Toxin Type A for the treatment of headache and has significant experience as a researcher, speaker and national injector trainer. He was Chief of Service for the Department of Neurology at Kaiser Permanente in San Diego, and is currently Director of The Headache Center of Southern California. Dr. Blumenfeld is board certified by the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology.

To learn if y ou're a candidate and get more information, please follow the link....

Click here to learn more!>

Bits Of Wit And Wisdom

- A diet is for those who are thick and tired of it.

- The most disappointed people in the world are those that get what's coming to them.

- Advice is seldom welcome. Those who need it most like it least.

- Just about the time a woman thinks her work is done she becomes a grandmother.

- If you want to save face, keep the lower half shut.

- Instead of crying over spilt milk, go milk another cow.

- A flirt is a girl who believes that its every man for herself.

- What kind of waiter never accepts a tip? A dumb waiter....

- As the gourmet said when he ate the not-so-fresh fish: "Long time, no sea."

- All husbands are alike, writes a woman, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.

- A duck is a bird that walks like it's been riding a horse all day.

- When a man says he has a clear conscience, it often means he has a bad memory.

- He who gets too big for his britches will be expose d in the end.

- The successful exec has a spouse who says what to do and an assistant who does it.

Make a Date with Your Dentist

What can we do for your teeth that your daily brushing and flossing can't? Lots! Find out why it's important to make a regular date with your dentist, and learn what goes into deciding how often is best for your teeth.

Treat your teeth right>

In The News

Dr. Mary Swift was named one of "America's Best" cosmetic and general dentists for the third year in a row!

Please say "Hi!" to Melissa, our newest employee, the next time you visit. Melissa has over seven years experience in dentistry and says she's extremely proud to be selected to join our professional staff!

Bad Breath, Begone!

Do you use more mouthwash than you'd like? Are your pockets always rattling with boxes of breath mints? Instead of continuously trying to cover up bad breath, learn what causes it and how to avoid it.

Get the inside scoop>

Dental X-rays Demystified

Getting dental X-rays taken may not sound like your idea of a fun afternoon. However, the information your dentist gathers from your X-rays plays a vital role in helping you avoid future dental problems.

Learn how it works>

Do You Book Your Own Travel Online?

Want To Save A Ton of Time Planning a Trip And Find The Lowest Price Available?

As a service to our many patients who travel and use the internet to research the best value and to book their business trips and vacations, we have added to our website technology that can save you time and money. Our website has "PowerSearch™", a proprietary comparative search engine. Simply enter your travel info once, hit search, and it hunts automatically on up to 200 travel related websites and brings back the results in order of price - plus shows you which site has the best deal. Then click on the deal you want and save money! If it's a travel, airline, hotel, cruise, or car rental site - you no longer have to go to each and enter your dates to search and compare - one click does it all!

Click Here To Try It Out!>