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Back To School
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“If there were no schools to take the
children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be
filled with mothers.” ~Edgar W. Howe
“Annual Back-to-School Special Edition”
Dear Friends,
Whenever September rolls around I always
get nostalgic about “back to school” - maybe it’s the idea of missing out
on the 137 days of vacation, or maybe it’s just jealousy about not being
able to go back-to-school shopping every fall, or maybe I just miss
sitting in class all day - whatever the reason I always like to have some
fun with education in the September newsletter.
Of course not all memories of school are
pleasant…how many of you actually enjoyed sitting through high school
English classes? Sometimes we forget how tough it can be…. So here’s a
fun little reminder from English teacher Richard Lederer!
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Back To School - 2
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“The Trouble with English”
“English is the most widely used language
in the history of our planet. One in every 7 humans can speak it. More
than half of the world’s books and three quarters of international mail
are in English. Of all the languages, it has the largest vocabulary – perhaps
as many as 2 MILLION words. Nonetheless, let’s face it – English is a
crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither
apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England
or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads,
which aren’t sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we
explore its paradoxes, we find quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings
are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And
why is it that writer’s write but fingers don’t fing, and grocers don’t
groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t
the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two gee se. So one moose, two
meese? One index, two indices?
Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make
amends but not one amend, that you can comb through annals of history but
not a single annal?
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Back To School - 3
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If you have a bunch of odds and ends and
get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught,
why didn’t preachers praught? If vegetarians eat vegetables, what does a
humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?
Sometimes I think all the English speakers
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what
language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck
and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can slim chance and fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a
wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while
quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as heck
one day and cold as heck another?
Have you noticed that we talk about
certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful
carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experience requited love?
Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly, or
peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or would
ACTUALLY hurt a fly?
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Back To School - 4
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have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a
language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you
fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by
going on.
English was invented by people, not computers,
and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which of course isn’t a
race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but
when the lights are out they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my
watch, I start it but when I wind up this essay, I end it.”
Remember the Science Fair?
A junior high school student in Idaho
recently won his city’s science fair. He was attempting to show that
people have become conditioned to react to environmental alarmists who
practice junk science. In his project he urged people to sign a petition
demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical “dihydrogen
monoxide”. He had plenty of good reasons for it:
1. It can cause excessive sweating and vo
miting.
2. It is a major component of acid rain.
3. It can cause severe burns in its gaseous state.
4. Accidental inhalation can kill you.
5. It contributes to erosion.
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Back To School - 5
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6. It decreases the effectiveness of
automobile brakes.
7. It has been found in tumors of cancer patients.
He asked 50 people if they supported the
banning of the chemical.
Forty-three said yes, six said there were
undecided and one actually knew what “dihydrogen monoxide is so she was
totally against the ban. “Dihydrogen monoxide is two hydrogen molecules
and one oxygen molecule…H2O…WATER!
The title of his prize winning project was
“How Gullible Are We?” He felt that the conclusion was obvious!
That’s all for this month, I hope I
brought back some fond memories!
See you in 30 days!
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Bad Breath, Begone!
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 Do
you use more mouthwash than you’d like? Are your pockets always rattling
with boxes of breath mints? Instead of continuously trying to cover up
bad breath, learn what causes it and how to avoid it.
Get the inside scoop >
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Success Story - What Have We Done For You Lately?
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I’m sure you’ve seen the amazing results
of a complete smile makeover – a fabulous smile that’s perfectly straight
even and white! But you may be curious about what it takes to get there
or if it’s even something that can be done on your smile.
Rest assured that we can fix virtually anything that’s a problem with
your smile and we can make it absolutely stunning.
We can straighten crooked, overlapped teeth. We can fix chipped, broken
and worn teeth. We can replace unattractive metal fillings with natural
looking restorations. We can replace any missing teeth. We can close gaps
between teeth. We can re-contour a gummy smile. We can whiten any stained
or discolored teeth. We can do just about anything you will need!
Of course the first stop to that Hollywood smile is a healthy mouth so
you will want to come in for a complete and thorough check-up. Having a
healthy mouth is the foundation for having a beautiful smile!
Once we have your foundation ready we can move on to styling your new
smile. We’ll find out just how you’d like your smile to look, what it is
that you want to change about your current smile, and we can even give
you a preview of your stylish new look.
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What Have We Done For You Lately - 2
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How much care you need to achieve your
goal will depend on how you’d like your smile to appear. You may just
need something as simple as a one-hour laser whitening session to achieve
your goals, you may want Da Vinci porcelain veneers placed on your teeth,
or you may want your gum line re-contoured…whatever it is you want you
can bet that we can do it for you!
The end result will be not only a happier, healthier, more attractive
smile but a happier, healthier, more attractive YOU!
Best of all, we can complete all but the most extreme procedures in just
one or two trips to our office so you can be smiling beautifully in no
time.
Just give us a call and ask us what we can do for you!
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Back-To-School Promotion
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Now’s the Time to Save on an Ideal Smile!
To Celebrate America’s birthday, we are
offering you the opportunity to make yours an All American Smile. During
September and October we will give you 20% off Laser whitening, a $200
credit towards new Invisalign treatment, and/or a 5 Star Exam that includes
any necessary x-rays and a cleaning for $50 OFF the regular price!
Here’s the catch: you must schedule the
appointment by October 15th to receive all the savings.
Schedule today by calling Desiree at (214)
556-5251. Call now - this promotion is limited to only the first 17
patients to schedule.
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Not Your Father’s Root Canal
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 With advances in dental technology, root canal treatment is
no longer the arduous procedure the rumor mill would have you believe. In
fact, those most likely to speak ill of the process are people who have
never even experienced it firsthand! Find out what’s actually involved
and why nowadays, this process is akin to simply having a cavity filled.
Today's root canal >
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Bits Of Wit And Wisdom
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 - It isn't the age, it's the mileage that counts.
- Knowledge is awareness of the fact fire will burn. Wisdom is
remembering the blister.
- Middle age is when you don't care where you go just so you are home by
9 p.m.
- Love is blind...marriage is the eye-opener.
- If you want a place in the sun you must expect to get blistered
occasionally.
- Better to be a has been than a never was.
- If you want to be heard - whisper.
- Are you helping with the solution, or are you part of the problem?
- Debate: it lures de fish....
- Happiness is when you find your glasses soon enough that you still
remember why you wanted them.
- A word of advice - don't give it.
- The average amount of sleep required by the average person is 5 minutes
more....
- Do it yourself. We want it loused up good.
- If a man could understand women, he still wouldn't believe it.
- A well adjusted person: one who makes the same mistake twice without
getting nervous.
- Boasting: the patter of little feats.
- If you think it's hard to meet people, just pick up the wrong golf
ball.
- A man's body is extemely sensitive. Pat him on the back and his head
swells.
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Taking Care of Your Toothbrush
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 Your toothbrush didn’t come with an instruction booklet.
However, there are many particular things you can do to keep your
toothbrush gerM-Three – which of course helps your teeth and mouth stay
cleaner and healthier. We've got the missing instructions for you right
here!
Get instructions >
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Monthly Quiz
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Last Month’s Quiz Question:
Look carefully at these letters:
H, M, R, T, V, X
Which letter doesn’t belong?
Answer: R, all the other letters are exact
mirror images.
This Month’s Quiz Question!
This object has keys but opens no locks,
space but no room, and you can enter yet not go in.
What is it?
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Do You Suffer From Recurring Headaches?
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There’s now a great way to relieve
headache pain from TMJ, tension and migraines!
Neurologists have found that migraine and
tension headaches, as well as those from TMJ (which also causes you to
grind your teeth), can be effectively treated with BOTOX® in 2 out of 3
cases! Now BOTOX® injections from Dr. Swift can be used therapeutically
to relieve recurring headache pain!
In 2004 Dr. Swift underwent training in
both the therapeutic and cosmetic use of BOTOX® with Dr. Andy Blumenfeld.
Dr. Blumenfeld is an internationally recognized authority on the
utilization of Botulinum Toxin Type A for the treatment of headache and
has significant experience as a researcher, speaker and national injector
trainer. He was Chief of Service for the Department of Neurology at Kaiser
Permanente in San Diego, and is currently Director of The Headache Center
of Southern California. Dr. Blumenfeld is board certified by the American
Board of Psychiatry and Neurology.
To learn if y ou're a candidate and get
more information, please follow the link....
Click here to learn more! >
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With Heartfelt Thanks For your Referrals!
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 There’s no question that I have the BEST patients on
the entire planet!
My business is built on word of mouth
advertising and I would like to thank all of you who were kind enough to
recommend our services to your friends.
Thank you soooo much!
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Dental X-rays Demystified
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 Getting dental X-rays taken may not sound like your idea of
a fun afternoon. However, the information your dentist gathers from your
X-rays plays a vital role in helping you avoid future dental problems.
Learn how it works >
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Do You Book Your Own Travel Online?
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 Want To Save A Ton of Time Planning a Trip And Find
The Lowest Price Available?
As a service to our many patients who
travel and use the internet to research the best value and to book their
business trips and vacations, we have added to our website technology
that can save you time and money. Our website has “PowerSearch™”, a proprietary
comparative search engine. Simply enter your travel info once, hit
search, and it hunts automatically on up to 200 travel related websites
and brings back the results in order of price – plus shows you which site
has the best deal. Then click on the deal you want and save money! If
it’s a travel, airline, hotel, cruise, or car rental site – you no longer
have to go to each and enter your dates to search and compare – one click
does it all!
Click
Here To Try It Out! >
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Back To School
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“If there were no
schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the
insane asylums would be filled with mothers.” ~Edgar W.
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