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"Bring Forth the Raisins and the Nuts - Tonight All-Hallows' Spectre Struts
Along the Moonlit Way" - Edgar W. Howe It's Halloween again, and I always like to have a little fun with the October issue of the
newsletter. This time around I have found a set of rules that will help you survive if you ever find yourself in a "scary movie situation", so read and remember! “Keys To Survive A Scary Movie Situation” When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead. If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, had previous inhabitants who went mad or succumbed to a horrible fate, do yourself a favor - move away immediately. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than
their own, make a mental note to yourself that you may soon need some help from law enforcement or some other higher power. When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off and go it alone. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to you know where. Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, or crypt. Nothing good is going to happen to you there. If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life. If
appliances start operating by themselves, move out. Do not take anything from the non-living. If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away.
Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure
you know what you are doing.
If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you. And Finally! If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as
possible.
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Want To Save A Ton of Time Planning a Trip And Find The Lowest Price Available?
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There’s no question that I have the BEST patients on the entire planet!